why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
