fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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