ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
