I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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