12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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