I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize