I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize