dude i'm inner monologue high
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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