Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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