Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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