What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
