At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
