i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The power of my boobs compel you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
