so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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