He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
