Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize