You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
