you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How does one acquire holy water?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Drunk is not a location!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
