So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
