I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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