So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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