This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
