Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
