Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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