I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
