I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
