I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize