In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
birth control should be required to get into college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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