Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
