Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
