i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
