The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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