they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
