I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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