i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize