In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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