Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
