After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
