im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
