took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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