I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
