there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
