would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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