Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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