just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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