it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize