apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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