I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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