It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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