My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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