"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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