Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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