She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
