from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday