Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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