Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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  (405): I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace... (1-405): Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar http://tfl.nu/6slq
  Replies (16) Good night (2057) Bad night (737)
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  (310): View more from California

  four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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  (310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu
  Replies (21) Good night (975) Bad night (4558)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone

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  (574): i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone http://tfl.nu/gkfm
  Replies (12) Good night (1648) Bad night (4359)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

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  (773): My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended. http://tfl.nu/c9ao
  Replies (38) Good night (1554) Bad night (3861)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

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  (325): my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song. http://tfl.nu/4wzc
  Replies (11) Good night (1361) Bad night (3628)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.

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  (978): he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/bshy
  Replies (46) Good night (6614) Bad night (2913)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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  (845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv
  Replies (7) Good night (1729) Bad night (1194)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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  (780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba
  Replies (10) Good night (1500) Bad night (815)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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  (717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy
  Replies (7) Good night (590) Bad night (1288)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (536)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm

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  (314): Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm http://tfl.nu/9ca7
  Replies (9) Good night (576) Bad night (1471)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

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  (770): Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to? http://tfl.nu/60if
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.

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  (386): Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/yc56
  Replies (1) Good night (1392) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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  (248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (359)
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  (347): View more from New York

  May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.

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  (347): May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds. http://tfl.nu/1o7l
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (303)

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