your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?