i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.