You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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