Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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