sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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