We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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