I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
